A figure stands in darkness, consumed by her nature and need. Her attention turns to a door, opening into her desires which are gripping her and teasing her.
Behind The Layers of 'Insatiable'
It could be argued that all paintings are composed of layers. The surface itself holds the underpinning and the underpinning is only the first of many layers that are applied strategically on top of one another or spaced out across the canvas beside each other. I used to paint over some of my oldest paintings, years ago, when I wasn't able to obtain more canvases. I thought ''fuck it'' and then painted over what I had already painted. Sometimes it was awful but other times it made things better. Regardless of the result, that feverish impulse to release (express, create, whatever) is difficult to suppress. More often than not, the result doesn't matter — it's the act of expression itself that blurs over everything else.
It would seem that when one paints, they are really only layering things. When one writes it feels the same, as writing (stripped down) is a layering of thoughts upon thoughts, until things sound ''right''. Right enough to capture in pages, much the same way that the layering of thoughts (or ideas) are captured in paint.
Painting have layers. Along with writing, music and any other medium of expression. Because people, in their very nature, are complex and multi-faceted. Behind every piece of work is something more. What is seen or heard by audience or viewer is not always the intention of the artist. That's fascinating. It's only frustrating if/when people choose to see the worst side of art rather than the very misunderstood (and sometimes uncomfortable) human side of it.
I'm not ''tidy'' when I paint. I'm not perfect. For what reason should being neat, tidy and ''perfect'' replace the raw process of art? I see no reason that it should.
Music: ''22 Going on 23'' by Butthole Surfers.
'Translucent' by Cierra G. Rowe
Fascination and exuberance mingle together
in the expressive pose of a woman,
wading through her own complexities and playing with the moon.
Translucent (progress)
Painting, in and of itself, is interesting. That you can begin with a singular intention, build upon that more and somehow capture exactly what you need is a kind of intimacy not found in many things. Or maybe it is and i'm biased. Regardless, the relationship of artist and medium - the invitation of saying what you mean in a way other than speaking is, in many ways, intoxicating. Half of the whole is listening, while the other half seems to be looking deeper into the composition. Like poetry it is just as messy and just as emotional. Depending on how candid one is willing to be and how 'lost' one is willing to get, figuratively. I find that no matter how "lost" you get within observing a piece - you eventually find yourself within it. Or....i suppose it's different for everyone. Ah, I am rambling. Anyways, I'm glad to have this piece completed now. Translucent'.
Improv and Spoken Word (Updated)
After much consideration, I decided to upload audio recordings of my spoken word, improv poetry, along with some of my written poems. If interested in hearing, visit my bandcamp and soundcloud:
https://soundcloud.com/cierragrowe
Donating
The season is changing and it's beginning to get cold. There are many people out there who silently struggle or who are in difficult situations, who could use the help of others to navigate the coming winter months. Every little bit helps. If you have clothing (winter coats, scarves, jackets, hoodies, warm hats) or heavy blankets that you are no longer using, donating them could help to alleviate some of the daily stress for these people and families. If you don't have things to donate, there are other ways to help. Like If you see a person on the side of the road holding up signs, in need of help — giving what you can to them could be just what they need to get them alittle further down the line. Local food drives (canned goods) are also good. I don't know if they accept instant coffees or ramen but those are both things that could help to feed/keep people warm. It's cheap as well, so ... but it's whatever. These are human beings. They deserve to be warm just as much as anyone else. I feel sick when I see or hear people making fun of people in bad situations like homelessness. I don't think that anyone should look down on someone else, because that person's situation could easily become your reality. You don't know these people and judging them like that is unfair. Natural disasters have played a huge role in displacing many, many people and animals, across the country. Just because the news doesn't show these people on tv anymore doesn't mean that everything is rosy. They're still struggling. Them, and many others. No-kill Animal shelters can also use any help that anyone would want to provide, in the form of food and warm blankets, hay, etc. for current animals there. A simple google search could do wonders in trying to locate places near that are currently open to accepting donations. Obviously, it is good to donate throughout the year but winter is, without question, one of the most dangerous times of the year for people who are in difficult situations like this. I don't want to sound preachy. I barely even post on social media. Everything that anyone says is picked apart, until it's unrecognizable anyway. Your intention is blurred and becomes meaningless. But pretty much, I feel that when you have a platform, regardless of its size or whatever, it's not a bad idea to use it in some way to help other people, without coming across as preachy, insincere, uncaring or demeaning. If anything it would be great if even one person decided to donate locally, after reading this.
Eggs and Brownies and Love
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The holidays grow nearer and with holidays come mellow memories. Because right around this time, I am certain that my Grandmother would be trying to figure out the menu for the coming Thanksgiving feast, which was always held at her house. Her beloved house filled with coziness and the aroma of coffee and mouthwatering scents, emanating from her oven and floating gently beneath everyone's noses who stopped by. sniff sniff lol.
One thing that I remember most about her house is her closet. So many hats, dresses and things which she held dear to her. She was a sharp dresser and a very gifted cook but those were not the extent of her gifts. Her very existence - a blessing.
One night when I slept over at her house, it was bedtime and very dark. I slept in her room on a bed that she had made for me. I was afraid of the dark. With the covers clutched tight, I remember saying ''i love you granny''..... and in a gentle voice, in the quiet darkness, she said I love you too. Just like that, the dark didn't make me afraid anymore. Her love was that powerful.
Earlier, I was looking through family photos. The one that I've decided to share within this post is a special one. It's from Christmastime. You can tell because of her reindeer near the window. My mother, husband and I visited my grandmother one evening, during the holidays. While my mother sat, admiring the tree and watching us lol, I goofed off in the kitchen while my grandmother, husband and I were preparing to bake brownies. That's why I'm holding eggs.
But me holding eggs and being silly isn't the important part of this photo — It's my grandmother. And if you look closely, very very closely, you can see her right behind me, tiny as can be, rummaging through her things, looking for something.
During the holidays maybe everyone is looking for something; a new tree to string lights on. Or perhaps searching ingredients to complete the annual feast. Or maybe just maybe it is warmth that people are seeking.
Through looking at this photo, I found that.
Shadow & Sax
Thank you so much to Shadow & Sax Literary and Arts Press, for featuring me. A very special thank you especially to Editor in Chief, Ryan Di Francesco and Creative Director, Jessica Anne. I am very grateful to have my art be included on a platform which so obviously understands the artistic process. Thank you so much.
Plein air
New dreadlocks and a bit of plein air painting. The painting shown on my easel, to the bottom right, is a new piece titled 'Translucent'. A very symbolic painting, layered with meaning but for the most part centered around how one navigates their own vulnerability, without being consumed by that which made them vulnerable in the first place and the effects of such.
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